hmm..

gotten the hint a long time ago. but i just didn't want to acknowledge it. i was running away from the problem and i didn't want to experience another bout of depressed episodes. i hate the feeling of resignation. but i guess the burden just got bigger and heavier that it's hard for everyone to ignore. at times, i knew i was at fault but i allowed myself to indulge further. i found myself sinking deeper and deeper that it's very difficult for me to pull myself back to reality.

i can't hide my emotions any longer. i have been struggling internally and i'm still doing so even as i type. i kept you next to me not 'cuz i feel that you can be a replacement or what (if that's what you think, correct me if i'm wrong), it's 'cuz i didn't want to lose a special friend. i was selfish 'cuz you meant alot to me and you are very precious. which is why i'm having a hard time trying to accept the fact that things could no longer be the same as before. which is also why, all along, i can't bring myself to do what you did. nevertheless, i guess this is probably the right-est thing you have done. you have always been tolerant of my indecisiveness and have always been deciding for me. this time, yet again, you have also decided for me when you came to the decision to think for yourself. i thank you for taking the first step.

there are so many things i want to say to you. but i wasn't fortunate to be granted the opportunity to do so. anyway, as a final note: i'm sure everyone will find their happiness one day. it can be derived from friends, better halves or doing things one likes to do. anything. and i'm sure you'll find your happiness too. don't give up.

p.s. thanks for leaving a footprint in my life. thanks for making me smile. never felt happier in a long time. thanks for being there for me when i'm down. you'll always be my special friend. if you ever need someone, i will still be there as a friend for ya. anytime. anyday.