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imagine you didn't pay attention to details which are needed for you to do something, say, a report. then, you thick-skinned-ly asked for some enlightenment from someone else.

only to get rebuffed with "just write lor."

sounds familiar to you?

this have occurred quite a few times to me i think.

however,

i have absolutely refused to think that people (including myself) are selfish.

until today.

maybe you became busy. concidentally. maybe i have treated you the same way sometime back and created bad causes. so this is probably just my karma ya.

whatever it is, to even have the intention of being selfish, i'm disappointed with people.

oh well.

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this is such a grade-oriented society.

1) the amount of effort you put in for every damned assignment is determined by the weightage of the assignment that gets counted into the final grade.

2) people go all out to find out about the means and standard deviations of test scores in order to know how they fare among the cohort.

3) people even calculate the weightage of each question in a test in order to judge the penalty of not studying for the f-up test.

4) people even voice out in class/ivle forum in order to be rewarded class participation points that will count towards the final grade.

5) i have taken up japanese because i want to. i don't care if i can't S/U it. i attend TC classes because they are fun and i want to be there. guess what my teacher said when i asked for a makeup class:

"oh. it's not obligatory. you don't have to come if you can't make it for all the other slots. it won't be counted towards your grade." even the teachers think that way!

there's nothing wrong in doing these. we all enjoy the freedom to do what we want ya. i understand ultimately we all want to do well (or exceptionally well).

it's easy to get pulled into the whole paper chase thingy. everyone is like that, including good friends. i feel i have lost myself somewhere in this system. i admit i do do 1 and 4 sometimes ( 2 and 3 are too OMG for me). i also feel i haven't truly learnt anything - not even skills. everyday is just a routine of meeting deadlines and more deadlines. my initial passion in psychology seemed to have dwindled. everything is textbook-based. i do not have time to learn more on my own. i don't even feel i benefitted from doing my assignments.

i'm too naive. sucks.