bleah.

i feel like i'm in hell now.

life totally sucks. why am i alive anyway ?

am not understood by people. always making wrong turns. academic life spiralling downwards. can't present the real me. can't excel in things i liked. can't get what i wanted. always reading too much into signs and getting miserable. can't find someone i can really really talk to. can't confide in parents. am forced to be independent but can't be. am losing people but i can't figure out a way to keep them. am always making people unhappy; creator of problems.

if i'm not lousy, then what am i ?

i should be a hermit. happiness is temporary. it goes as quickly as it comes. why bother pursuing it ?